Image: pexels.com … Alexander Draghici is a licensed Clinical Psychologist, CBT practitioner, and content writer for various mental health websites. This means you don’t blame others (or yourself) when something goes awry. All rights reserved. You know how to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Let’s begin with a recent study that investigated the relationship between emotional maturity and general well-being. Here are seven ways you can be more emotionally mature. Long story short, one conclusion we can draw from current research is that emotional maturity is a multi-faceted construct and a process that can contribute significantly to a happy and fulfilling life. For example, if one of your core values is security, you can exercise it by opening a savings account or creating a new revenue stream. When you have empathy for other people, only good things can come: understanding, compromise, and a greater emotional intelligence all around. It’s challenging for them to exercise control over their reactions, given how little attention they pay to their emotional reactions. If you've ever been around a toddler or a teenager for any length of time, you know what emotional ‘immaturity’ looks like. Having … Have you ever wondered why some people can navigate their emotional spectrum smoothly, while others often end up feeling overwhelmed with regret, guilt, or shame? Even though some decisions may (temporarily) generate emotional turmoil, there’s a sense of comfort and personal pride in knowing that you’ve put aside your selfish interests and did what’s right. Once you have set goals that are clear, actionable, and measurable, take action to work towards them. Finding a reliable role model can go a long way in helping us develop a greater level of emotional maturity. 1. How can I work on my own emotional maturity? Eating a balanced diet helps maintain your health while living with hepatitis C. Learn more about what to eat on a hepatitis C diet. But he also notes, that sometimes achieving the emotional maturity required for Kindergarten may simply take time. There’s no guarantee that he or she will change his/her attitude, but at least you did more than just wallow in bitterness and resentment. [2]. know their way around their entire emotional spectrum. Supporting children to develop emotional maturity . Learn how to care for your tattoo, what to expect in the first month, the signs of infection…. Mature people do not spend time blaming others for their problems. Finding joy in the little things is one of the simplest ways to achieve authentic and lasting happiness. But aside from owning your shortcomings and failures, another sign of emotional maturity is to work on them actively. Do you express gratitude or stay stuck in rehashing everything that’s gone wrong? Our website services, content, and products are for informational purposes only. – PowerPoint PPT presentation But in some cases, feeling more emotional than usual could be a sign of an underlying condition. Welcome and thank you for joining me. Is there any way to test your emotional maturity? Humility is a tenet of emotional maturity. One of the most valuable and consistent rewards that you can reap from living an emotionally mature life is emotional independence. Emotional maturity allows you to take charge of your life. You have your own vision for your life and your own ambition for success. Put a reminder (as your wallpaper on your phone) to remind you. Maybe you think unpleasant emotions are “bad” and should be avoided at all costs. This is what emotional maturity offers – freedom, resilience, and a balanced perspective on life. For them, the mere act of pursuing a goal or doing meaningful work is enough to generate happiness. How we treat breast cancer has changed in many ways from the cancer’s first discovery. Can You Have Bipolar Disorder and an Anxiety Disorder at the Same Time. Set a small goal to work on one aspect of your emotional maturity each week. Taking the pressure off yourself and placing it on someone else’s shoulders creates a momentary sense of relief. But trying to achieve emotional maturity without taking the time to understand how emotions work is like trying to become a surgeon without having a basic understanding of the human body. When you’re under a looming deadline at work, how have you expressed your need for a break? Not necessarily to change them, but to learn to live with them. I firmly believe that building emotional maturity relies on both self-exploration and self-education. You Know That Happiness is a Lifelong Process. No matter how intense or unbearable it may feel, every emotional experience is a valuable opportunity to build resilience and emotional maturity. In my opinion, emotional maturity is one of the primary ingredients of a happy and fulfilling life. That’s why you may meet a much younger person who seems wiser than their years. You Appreciate the Little Things in Life, 10. In short: yes and no. We grow in maturity when in turbulent, choppy waters; when tempted to act out our fears, hurts, or resentments. Discover the relationship between bipolar and anxiety disorders, which can often co-occur. How to develop emotional maturity . In other words, emotionally mature people set realistic goals and engage in meaningful and intrinsically rewarding activities. Emotional: patience, kindness, the ability to manage anger, etc. You may ask, “What can I do to improve this situation?”. One way to exercise emotional maturity is to practice mindfulness. His work focuses mainly on strategies designed to help people manage and prevent two of the most common emotional problems – anxiety and depression. Think about how often a day you complain about others or different situations. After all, emotionally mature individuals. There are many factors that can influence a person’s level of maturity. 7 Best Apps for Introverts to Date and Find Friends, 33 Famous Optimism Quotes to Look on the Bright Side of Life, 11 Kindness Challenge Ideas and Printables for 2021, 9 Priorities in Life You Need to Focus On, >> Click to Grab the FREE Book: The Morning Routine for Peak Performance<<, 10 Signs of Emotional Maturity (And How to Develop It). Not only that emotionally mature people have stopped chasing perfection a long time, but they’re also well aware of their flaws and shortcomings. You Look Beyond Your First Impressions, 4. You’re always willing to open up and share your own struggles so others feel less alone. 6 Books on How to Develop Emotional Maturity and Stay Grounded. Some will value and honor your opinions (even if they disagree with you), while others will criticize and hate you just because you have a different perspective. It’s called “emotional maturity,” and unlike your personality or temperament, it’s something that you can develop in time and with sustained effort. 1. Every person, challenge, or situation faced is a prime learning opportunity to test your EQ. If you work on it … This can account for why a lot of teen emotions often seem unpredictable. When a person gets along with others, it … Ethical: the development of morals, the … No excuses. Emotional maturity is the process by which you learn to successfully navigate your entire emotional spectrum, taking responsibility for how you feel about yourself, others, and the world around you. It takes time to develop the trust, communication, and lasting love upon which lasting relationships are built. But there is one psychological construct that indicates how well we cope with unexpected (and unpleasant) events that generate emotional discomfort and throw us off the track. From another perspective, How to Develop Emotional Maturity (from iLoveIndia) Anyone can develop emotional maturity in oneself by keeping a track of certain points, given as follows. Instead of getting infatuated with people you find attractive, you take the time to get to know them before making any emotional investments. Unfortunately, the price that you pay for replacing authentic human interactions with meaningless first impressions is superficiality. have a solution-focused approach to life. You know how to apologize when you’ve done wrong. You also don’t have the desire to be right all the time. It is simply a matter of putting in the time and developing the necessary skills. Tattoo aftercare starts as soon as your tattoo is done. There are tons of online tests and quizzes to help you determine your maturity level. As an exercise, try writing down the number of times you were bothered by others in a journal for a week. Look at your life and take full responsibility for both the good and the bad. When we see someone we admire handling a setback smoothly, we’re much more likely to model their behavior. While it’s more than normal to have a crabby day now and then, if you’re caught up in self-blame or finding fault with everyone around you, it’s a sign you could stand to work on your maturity. You’re also able to clearly communicate with your partner for more help around the house. Our feelings can affect how we handle situations and the way we run our lives. There are so many factors to consider, not to mention that each of us have our own version of a happy life. Knowing how emotionally mature someone is can be the most important thing to know about them; but this knowledge may take (painful) years to acquire. Becoming self-aware of our own worth as well as the worth of others is what helps us lead a happier and more fulfilling life. And this applies to every person on the planet. Unfortunately, the less responsibility you take for how you feel, the less control you have over your feelings. On the opposite pole, emotionally mature individuals learn to make the best with what they have instead of getting frustrated and upset when things don’t go as planned. Can you see how others may have it worse? Once in recovery, you will no longer be able to look for drugs or alcohol as a crutch for unwanted feelings. Audio On Emotional Maturity Contributed by Our Friends at The School of Life. Home . If a colleague belittles or puts you down, you won’t stand for it and will let your voice be heard. Positive vibes only, right!! Find her at cindylamothe.com. For emotionally immature individuals, feelings are a headache rather than an opportunity to understand themselves better. Furthermore, values and principles cultivate stability and facilitate decisions based on personal beliefs, not momentary emotional impulses. To quote John Haynes Holmes, “The universe is not hostile, nor yet is it friendly. The correct … When you’re emotionally mature, you know very well that perfection is just a word that has absolutely no real-life application. © 2005-2020 Healthline Media a Red Ventures Company. When you make a mistake in life (and we are all guilty!) People with emotional maturity are aware of their privilege in the world and will try to take steps toward changing their behavior. We don’t become more mature when the waters of life are calm and placid and everything is going our way. Of course, numerous factors could explain why some people handle their emotions well, from personality and temperament to parenting styles and self-control. Even if they don’t have all the answers, an emotionally mature individual gives off a sense of “calm amid the storm.” They’re the ones we look to when going through a difficult time because they perform well under stress. Cindy Lamothe is a freelance journalist based in Guatemala. Put yourself in his/her shoes and figure out the reason behind an attitude or remark that you think is “wrong.”. In this next section, we take a look at some helpful ways to become more emotionally mature. The Emotionally Mature Solution: Embrace your vulnerability In order to fully trust and develop intimate relationships we others, we have to find the strength within ourselves to be vulnerable. Nobody can stay on a winning streak forever, so it’s vital to handle setbacks with patience and self-compassion. These moments of playfulness allow you to cultivate positive emotions and experience a pure form of happiness. 8 ways to develop emotional maturity. Furthermore, emotional maturity involves a certain degree of mental flexibility. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither are relationships. If you’ve got this far in the article and have found that some of the points above do not ring true for you, this certainly does not make you a bad person. As an emotionally mature individual, you know better than to judge a book by its cover, and you take the time to discover his/her real self. Emotional maturity is difficult to develop, but can be learned. Throughout life, you’ll get to meet all kinds of people. Learn about shared symptoms, challenges, therapy, and more. People can never show emotional maturity in the face of external situations if we do not know how to apply ourselves first. People ignore the role emotional maturity plays within a relationship because with emotional maturity comes the requirement of being self controlled and responsible for your actions and inactions. In other words, you risk losing someone with whom you could have had a real connection simply because he/she didn’t give you “a good vibe,” and you don’t make an effort to look beyond this feeling. Common Excuses That Emotionally Immature People Use to Justify Their Self-defeating Attitudes, I don’t waste my time on feelings; I get things done. Please do your own research before making any online purchase. Emotional immaturity, on the other hand, can lead you to lash out at others when you experience difficult feelings and ultimately damage your relationships. Emotionally immature people have a hard time dealing with shame, guilt, or disappointment. If you've ever been around a toddler or a teenager for any length of time, you know what emotional ‘immaturity’ looks like. For tips on how to develop effective emotional regulation strategies, I strongly recommend this guide. Many people believe that first impressions are everything. Last medically reviewed on March 30, 2020. This often leads to anger outbursts and heated debates over how right and who’s wrong. You can also start off by asking yourself some basic questions to get a sense of where you are. Tip: Whenever someone says or does something inappropriate, disrespectful, or hateful, try to start a conversation and let the other person know how you feel. An emotionally mature person always prefers to see the positive in every situation, no matter how bad things may seem. When we think of someone who’s emotionally mature, we typically picture a person who has a good understanding of who they are. It is thanks to empathy that you can understand what others are going through and provide emotional support. In a largely uncontrollable and unpredictable world, the only way to thrive is by being mature enough to understand the importance of adaptability and view every emotional reaction as an opportunity to learn something valuable about yourself. Based on the theory of CBT, we put together a guide to help you weed…, How do you know if changes in mood are normal, a sign of a mental health condition, or related to your hormones? Then try identifying the underlying emotion. Tip: Be curious about others; listen to their stories; keep an open mind; ask questions instead of making remarks; always seek to resonate with the emotional vibe that the other person is bringing into the conversation. In other words, you strive to become aware of your emotional reactions and take the time to educate yourself on how emotions work. Learning to see a situation with self-compassion and nuance — where nothing is either black or white — can help you avoid falling into the blame game. Finding a reliable role model can go a long way in helping us develop a greater level of emotional maturity. A value-driven life is like a compass that allows you to navigate challenging situations without straying off course. One of the most important steps in figuring out how to develop emotional maturity involves acknowledging when you are wrong. A person with good emotional maturity is capable of making good decisions. In other words, adolescents who are mature enough to handle their emotions without drama, avoidance, substance abuse, or other unhealthy coping strategies live happier lives. One of the fundamental truths of life is that we’re not always in control of how things will unfold. With this journal, you will build a powerful daily gratitude habit and re-discover all the great things that are already in your life. Don’t avoid it just to get momentary relief. You’re also not interested in being seen as “perfect” all the time. Practicing handling these new and intense emotions will allow you to develop ways of dealing with them in the future. Click To Tweet More Links and Resources On Emotional Maturity Check out our guide on protecting your emotional space. and are well-aware that happiness is a lifelong journey. Tip: Think of a lifelong goal that you would like to pursue regardless of whether it ends in success or failure. She writes often about the intersections between health, wellness, and the science of human behavior. Build the Gratitude Habit with The 90-Day Gratitude Journal, Check out my best-selling journal called “The 90-Day Gratitude Journal: A Mindful Practice for a Lifetime of Happiness.”. It’s normal to feel extra sensitive from time to time. Setting healthy boundaries is a form of self-love and respect. Think of practical ways you can cultivate your values. People with emotional maturity are able to express their joy to others even in the midst of sudden change. You Know Your Flaws Better Than Anyone Else, 5. When to say something, when to do something, when to say no, when to avoid someone, all these things should be well analyzed in one’s life. 6 Books on How to Develop Emotional Maturity and Stay Grounded; There are indeed hundreds of books on how to develop emotional maturity, but it would be unwise to spend your precious time and money on generic works and insights. Another fundamental truth is that reality isn’t always governed by a set of rules. I’m going to suggest that our key moments are how we develop emotional maturity. For example, you’ll acknowledge when you need a break and know when to ask your boss for a day off. Healthline Media does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Being emotionally mature means not letting anyone cross your boundaries. As a result, you tend to be highly reactive to people and circumstances that generate emotional discomfort. When you’re less mature, the world is full of minor annoyances, and you’re unaware of your own privileges. It isn’t enough to be able to identify your own emotions. Tip: Although it may sound like a self-help cliché, it’s essential to sit with yourself and write down your flaws. Tip: Think about the hobbies you had as a child, the things that made you happy, not because of some extrinsic reward but simply because you enjoyed doing them. Focusing on realising your vision, you can create a happy, healthy life where you respect yourself and others. How could you feel motivated to prioritize self-discovery and self-improvement if you believe you’re already the best you can be? The emotionally mature understand the most important thing they can give relationships, projects, goals or business is their time. Emotional maturity involves a solid set of values and principles based on which you live your day-to-day life. Empathy. Emotional maturity means you think before you act, take time to pause, and wonder about the world at large- instead of walking around thinking you already know everything there is to know about yourself, others, and the world around you. Who or what stops you from doing them right now? One study found that cigarette smoking and alcohol consumption can also play a significant role in a teen’s developing brain, ultimately affecting how they mature. Self-control leads to a better understanding of our emotions and those of others. After all, life is much more than just paying bills, doing taxes, and going to work. Emotionally mature people see how their emotions impact themselves and … Emotional maturity is a daily investment, a continuous awakening. In a way, emotionally immature people can’t get over the fact that reality is rarely how they imagine it and that it’s them who need to adapt to the environment, not the other way around. I have seen myself change and grow over my life and I have also seen Sheila and my two daughters develop emotional maturity over their lives. A pleasant walk, a tasty meal, a friendly smile from your neighbor, the bus arriving right on time; these are the moments when you should pause and enjoy them. What Does It Mean to Be Emotionally Mature? In my opinion, the most fascinating (and challenging) aspect of emotional maturity is keeping a balance between focusing on the simple joys of life and having a Eudaimonic perspective on happiness. Did you snap at a co-worker or blow off steam at the gym later that evening? There’s no invisible force that ‘settles the score’ when life doesn’t treat you the way you think it should. The fact that they have a good grasp on their feelings – and don’t wallow in self-pity or regret – allows them to cultivate a ‘glass-half-full’ mentality. I don’t think that Sheila and my daughters were born more emotionally mature than me, nor intrinsically better at developing emotional maturity over time. They even take it a step further by letting others know about their least desirable traits to prevent awkward or unpleasant situations that may arise because of their “bugs.”. Granite Recovery Centers offers comprehensive, personalized drug rehab treatment plans that treat co-occurring disorders (such as conditions related to emotional immaturity) that address the destructive emotional and behavioral patterns that lead to drug addiction. But perhaps we could gain an even better understanding of emotional maturity by looking at the opposite pole of the spectrum. Tip: Go to lifevaluesinventory.org and discover your core values. The only difference is that they don’t let themselves be dragged down by adversity and negativity. Because the moment you think you’re perfect is the moment you stop growing. Discover why ADHD can make sleep challenging, tips to enjoy normal sleep, and more. The way you interpret the occasional failures and misfortunes that everyone encounters throughout life matters greatly. Recognizing when you … Recognizing how you feel — whether sadness, anger, or embarrassment — can help you understand why you’re reacting the way you are. It is simply indifferent.”. Rather, that you are on the long journey to achieving emotional maturity. Meaning, you often feel more concern for others and try to find ways of helping. That’s because our inner child can be a great source of creativity, originality, and pleasant emotions. To do that, you must develop habits and strategies, but they’ll only work if you carry them out with willpower and humility. But I get it. Take a look at the connection between ADHD and sleep disorders. It’s a skill set they can consistently work on over time. They know how to respond to tough situations and still keep their cool. Instead, you’ll acknowledge that you indeed don’t have “all the answers.”. Looking beyond words and resonating with the emotional vibe of the conversation creates a truly authentic human interaction. As a psychologist, I can understand why it’s more comfortable to blame others for your misery and unhappiness. In a largely uncontrollable and unpredictable world, the only way to thrive is by being mature enough to understand the importance of adaptability and view every emotional reaction as an opportunity to learn something valuable about yourself. Tip: Identify the areas in your life where you tend to be a perfectionist or set unrealistic standards and make a cost-benefit analysis. Becoming conscious of when we’re feeling bad about ourselves can give us the agency to make change. This is the kind of mindset that drives you to better yourself. Work hard to achieve your goals. You Have a Realistic Perspective on Love and Relationships, 9. … As always, I’m here to tell you that there are no “bad” emotions. Nevertheless, I took on the challenge of browsing through the latest studies to see if there’s any evidence behind this assumption. Instead of reacting when someone becomes dramatic, try displaying patience and understanding for where they’re coming from. Vibe of the most valuable and consistent rewards that you can also start by... The consequences of those decisions during COVID-19 may be factors in this next section, we learn handle... They pay to their emotional reactions and take ownership when you need a from... That investigated the relationship between bipolar and anxiety, and lasting love which! To find ways of helping time, as long as you mature ( emotionally and psychologically ), your on... Is wrong takes courage, compassion, and products are for informational purposes only already the best can... 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