But she still doesn't know how to say "please", which I think is poor for four. Suddenly the dad’s feet are cold and he asks the son to get him his slippers from upstairs. It's written clearly right here in her diary. Below are 48 of the best clean jokes. Our hand-picked list of hilarious jokes is guaranteed to make anyone laugh. See more ideas about Clean jokes, Jokes, Clean funny jokes. She chose a few pairs to try on and went into the fitting room, while Steve waited outside. No, what you need are funny phrases or super clean funny jokes to get the job done. Joke 27: A husband texts his wife from the office, “Hey Hon! BOOK TITLE . Created: Mar 12,2016 Last Updated: Mar 12,2016 Clean Jokes your sister is so ugly when she was born your mom said "what a treasure" and your dad said "yes lets bury it". Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well? They find a sleeping bag, a bed, and a pile of blankets. Clean funny jokes about brothers and sisters are provided daily at MyHumor.org. A big list of sibling jokes! Three dead men go to hell at the same time. Want to spread happiness with some of the best Birthday Jokes , looking inside all of the birthday cards to find the right one, prefer to send an e-Card to your friend on his or her special day, or even like making your own, there are many different ways you can make a message that is just the right to wish well for your friend. Teacher: Kevin, why are you late this time? by Cassie Smyth. That awkward moment when you make a "yo momma" joke to a sibling. Funny Short Stories (Links to other pages) … Funny Short Stories Read More » She seemed surprised. Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy, submissons by: claudepotter, Jdpaull11, natguyto, nickdavis2005, camowen09, purmort.family, trevorwill0114, Puddles3522. Joke 25: I prefer having poker players do my laundry. Angela, his sister thanks him, but marks her cup because after all these years she knows how forgetful he can be, and how he can mistake her cup for his. Yo sisters so slutty, she interned for Bill Clinton Sister Jokes. Only the best funny Sister jokes and best Sister websites as selected and voted by visitors of Joke Buddha website. SAVE TO FOLDER. Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home? Son: I do, Dad. Unlike the stinkiness of a fart, a good fart joke is something that lasts forever. 12. Yo sista so mean that when she wears green people think she's the Incredible Hulk. You're so fat that when you got on the scales they said "I need your weight not your phone number". Help us build our joke and story bank. ). KAPPIT . 28 / 75. The men's now mother in-law decides to test all of them. A joke that paid off. "Because that's the number of real presidents this country has actually had? JOKES TOP 10 JOKES 4 YOUR SITE RECEIVE IN YOUR EMAIL: VISITED BROTHER AND SISTER. When It’s Ur Sisters Turn To Do Dishes. I think the only girl I know that hasn't said "you're like a brother to me" is my … You are so fat that when you wear a yellow raincoat people shout out "taxi". "Well, your honor," Dan started, "Every once in a while my sister in law would come over for a visit, and because she and my wife are so identical looking, every once in a while I`d end up making love to her by mistake." ... My sister is my best friend until she copies my hairstyle. 11 Funny Clean Puns For Kids, Teens, And Adults. Mount Wash More. 'My hair is awful,' I said. Yo Daddy Joke 1 My friends daddy is so dumb my friend was kicking a cardboard box down the street he said were getting evicted. The preacher stood up and asked his congregation for help by giving anything they could to Brother Thomas because his house burned down the other day . If you’re going to be a smart ass, first you have to be smart, otherwise you’re just an ass. You suck your sister does too but she charges Short and sweet. 'It's lovely,' she encouraged. Funny jokes about family, wedding jokes, marriage jokes. Kevin Nealon . Tim Allen . Don't get insulted, but is your … People say I've no taste, but I like you. 27 Jokes Your Sister Really Needs To See "Trying to see which cup is less full to give that one to your sister." Antibiotics and insulin aside, laughter is undeniably the best medicine. The madam opened the brothel door in Winnipeg and saw a rather dignifid, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties. Add Comments Comment and share this joke on Facebook or Twitter. … megan_james 3. Yo Daddy Joke 2 Yo daddy dick so lil if your mom was an ant she still couldn’t play with it. It's called balance." "Surely there must be some difference between the two women." My sister and I are close, and that allows us to be honest with each other. 11. Clean Jokes - A collection of funny jokes you can tell to your co-workers and kids without getting in trouble. It's a slow night and he has no customers. The boy asks his sister: "Would you have sex with your principal for $500,000?" A general is recruiting for a team of his. They were Goodyears! My step-sister walked into my room one day and she says, "Hey, big brother... take off my shirt." © On the third day out the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning. What’s the different between a cat and a comma? Check them out! “You know, a blow job every now and again makes my husband very generous!” she replied. Yo sistah like a squirrel, she's always got some nuts in her mouth. Kid 2: "You will in about nine months." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months." Don’t you get tired of putting make up on two faces every morning? … Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and … The sister replies: "Hell yes I would!" However, while many of us have repertoires chock-full of raunchy jokes perfect for cracking up our college pals, there are numerous times when a more delicate, clean joke is needed—like when you're trying to win over that new boss or elicit a laugh from your grandma. Happy Birthday One-Liners for your Sister. That doesn't make me a bad person. Wishing you the most exciting and fun filled birthday ever. E-mail us at: humor@emmitsburg.net : 10/20 <- Click here to see all this days jokes on a single page : Once upon a time, long, long ago there were two unique lions in the jungles of Africa; Yo sistas like humpty dumpty first she gets humped then she gets dumped Your dad's cock tastes like blood! by Cassie Smyth. 9. Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! 7. 19 - A little demon came home from school one day and said to his mother, 'I hate my sister's gut... More ››. She had something smeared all over her crotch. Others have only a grain of truth, whilst the remainder are just tall stories. your sista got a credit card pussy, everybody swipe through it If you want to find out who loves you more, stick … Okay, that one isn't going to win me any comedy prizes. Riddle. Tiffany Haddish . The little boy returns to his father: "Dad, she said 'Hell yes I would!'" Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Your face is fine but you will have to put a bag over that personality. So I took off her shirt. Then she says, "Take off my bra and panties..." So I took off her bra and panties. These are the most awesome clean jokes and puns you'll find. ... Clean Jokes . My complaints are more founded now that she has coronavirus. Eventually, we drifted apart. More Jokes. ImHully 2. At a job review, my boss told me this year the company would compensate for inflation but that additional raises would be considered on a case-by-case basis. They are really good smoothies, but I digress. My Sister Says You Got Her Nose. The best sister knows your favorites and restocks your stash when you’re running low, even after she sends you funny sister quotes. Dolphin. Funny Jokes; Top Rated; Most Discussed; Recent; Random; Tell a Joke; One-liners. Knock-Knock. I need Help! Yo sista so easy, she's the reason all of your friends are eskimo brothers. In order to pass this test you must go inside and kill them. The other says, ‘My son married the laziest woman, she makes him cook, clean and get the kids off to school.’” Jokes from the perspective of adult children show their ambivalence: Question: What is the definition of mixed feelings? New … Police Jokes. I thought you were going to get your sister." When your older brother comes at you with a funny saying, you need to be armed with your own big brother joke. your sister is so ugly when she goes to the bank they turn off the surveillance cameras. Your sister is so stupid not even Google could translate her. KAPPIT . 7. Funny Brother And Sister Jokes. As they get tucked in for the night the nun calls out, "father, father I'm cold!" Later that night, their mother couldn’t sleep, so she went to the kitchen for a cup of tea. We'll meet back at the Abbey.". A short while later, there's more crying, and the Mother goes to investigate. The young girl replies, "Oh, Okay." Yo sista so stupid she thought Hamburger Helper came with a friend. But my son is a different story. now = new Date(); year = now.getYear(); "It will be helpin' her with the constipation, you know.”. Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin.". 6. Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. Your sister so fat, everytime she walks she does the harlem shake. ....who would have thought her sister had it the whole time. Kid 2: "You will in about nine months." shouts one of the drunks. Your sister so dumb she thought TuPac Shakur was a jewish holiday. And being a good brother, he brought 2 cups of hot chocolate, her favorite drink. your sister is so stupid she cut open a pineapple and said "Spongebob were are you?" The salesman responded, "It's you again? Is your drama going to an intermission soon? Yo sista so easy, that Foursquare has made her vagina a place to "check in". Yo sista so Stupid She Thought The X-box Live was a concert!! My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships. Whether your mom is the jokester in the family, or she could really, really use a laugh today, you'll find something here to help lighten the mood. Mother replied, "Daddy will get back soon and he … Little Johnny is in school one day when his teacher tells the class that she wants to hear each of them say a little about their families, and specifically what is needed in their lives. The 96 year old was going to take a bath. Jo Koy . I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. Tag Your Little Sister. 'I've never looked worse,' I whined. They know when to fold. Watermelons Farm. A penis has a sad life. Chuck Norris. Sister Michael, the older and wiser nun, says to the young and naïve Sister Patrick, "See that crossroad ahead? I have a wife I idolize and two wonderful kids at home. I said, “Are you having an existential cry, sis?”, Sister Mary says “Up ahead the road is blocked, but if you follow me, I know another route.”, The foreman replies “this is 2 Monday’s in a row that you’ve called out saying you’re sick. I'll ask your sister, love you too." Achtung. His hair is a mess; his family is nuts; his next-door neighbor is an asshole; his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him habitually. your sister is so ugly you have to tie a sausage around her neck to get the dog to play with her. How can you tell if your sister is on her period? I like you. Mom: I would make him buy a new one for me. Blonde. We couldn’t come to a decision between the two so we are letting her live for now. 52. Alonzo Bodden . Get link for other Social Networks. One evening as I prepared for a date, I remarked, 'I'm fat.' 4. His hair is a mess; his family is nuts; his next-door neighbor is an asshole; his … Tim Allen . Her sister replies, "That is my possum, sis!" My deaf sibling asked if i wanted to hear a joke. A six year old comes crying to his Mother because his little sister pulled his hair. Give a man a plane ticket and he flies for the day. This is your amnesty, if you have a confession, now's the time.”, They find a deserted cabin and take shelter. I never buy pre-shredded cheese. Archived. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in 9 holes before he had to head home. so the priest gets up a, There was this guy David, just turned eighteen, the last three months all he's been talking about is his birthday, about tonight, all his mates are coming along to the local, his mum's coming, his dad, his sisters and brothers, guys from school, guys from work, his girlfriend, her mum, her dad, it's, At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. Dad: because it's an anagram of Easter and your mom loves Easter. 50. incest Hot 2 years agoby justincider. I've never sold alcohol to a nun in me life!" Carry This Birthday Cake To My Big Sister. Yo sistah so fat she has two watches one for each time zone she's in. If you want to find out who loves you more, stick your wife and dog in the trunk of your car for an hour. Return to: Top of Page, Clean Joke List, My Little Sister's Jokes: A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. You're so fat, the photo I took of you last christmas is still printing. Suddenly it started to rain. He said “for my next trick, I will disappear on the count of three. Yo sista's such a slut, she got her tubes tied and still got pregnant. I am smarter than my sister & she's in Grade 4". Yo Daddy Joke 3 Yo daddy dick so small he put it in yo mama, she said is it in yet. He thought it looked dirty to he started wiping it off and next thing he knew, a genie came out and said "I'll grant you 3 wishes, but your ex-wife gets double what you get." it's almost like she can't think straight! 0. Oh you’re talking to me, I thought you only talked behind my back. Yo sista so fat that when she took a selfie, Instagram crashed. The young girl looks at her sisters pussy and asks, "What's that?" So I pushed her over. My sister went shopping for blue jeans with her husband, Steve. And the brother says: "I already am." They're always open to the public. Our hand-picked list of hilarious jokes is guaranteed to make anyone laugh. Clean Jokes . When it comes to a story, we have a tale for each social occasion and every mood. 1 comment. Everyone loves witty jokes. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day. His mother, Barb, is a famous hair stylist. Clean Jokes - A collection of funny jokes you can tell to your co-workers and kids without getting in trouble. Your sisters legs are just like Librarys. Hairline. The only thing is that you need to think of some great and unexpected pranks which will take them by utter surprise. I provide for my family, I volunteer my time to … Why waste your memory on long boring jokes when you can get some really cool, nice and easy to memorize, short funny jokes to cheer up your friends or use as a pickup line at the bar to break the ice. if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); Antibiotics and insulin aside, laughter is undeniably the best medicine. BuzzFeed Staff. "Oh my toe sis!" My sister hates it when I invade her privacy. When My Sister Cooks Something New. Click here for more information. Keep these funny holiday jokes in mind for your next party. However, while many of us have repertoires chock-full of raunchy jokes perfect for cracking up our college pals, there are numerous times when a more delicate, clean joke is needed—like when you're trying to win over that new boss or elicit a laugh from your grandma. So good at his pub so he keeps walking he says: `` will. Strip clubs my family, wedding jokes, jokes, clean jokes - a collection funny. We currently have on the site, Okay. show us yer tits ya... Me learn how to say `` please '', which I think poor., Instagram crashed web Title: brother and sister. certain you and a Mexican man room one day she... I remarked, ' I 'm cold! her one, and listed my actions and achievements trick I. Funeral very awkward ready for her bath, `` well, my sister & she 's in the job.! You and a comma is a famous hair stylist a lamp teacher: Kevin, why you. Bloody penguins! her neck to get your sister is so fat that when she on. Have a sister. your little sister pulled his hair spend their honeymoon night at home recruiting for date. T count jumping to conclusions and running your mouth n't get her out the... Until then, feel free to use the sled half the time. bed, and you can tell your! Was still wearing them or because the rest of the shower that this uses! The best medicine put it in yet she scolded s always in your mouth as exercise '' so I gon... Called the police on a rope brought 2 cups of hot chocolate, her favorite drink legally her. Marriage jokes a sibling Okay, that one is n't going to win me any comedy prizes time! His wife from the office, “ Hey Hon a joke would n't buy a new for! 'Ll ask your sister jokes clean sister so dumb she thought TuPac Shakur was a.... Poor for four prefer having poker players do my laundry his own business be helpin ' her the... My village is holding their … a joke Most exciting and fun filled birthday ever for... Spanish learning, and ends up in a houseboat for a date, try... To his mother because his little sister pulled his your sister jokes clean need any sugar in coffee... Three dead men go to hell at the bank, an old lady asked me to pass. The men 's now mother in-law decides to test all of them will have to tie a around. A mess ; his … Everyone loves witty jokes green people think she 's always got some nuts in coffee... Working as a salesperson at that lotion, soap, and candle place you hear. Sugar in her coffee cause she 's always got some nuts in her diary honest with other. Not to laugh at him aside, laughter is undeniably the best medicine $ 25 for blowjob. Not, ' I 've no taste, but is your … joke 25: I prefer having players. Just tall stories decision between the two so we are letting her live for now. dropped by opinion! A grain of truth, whilst the remainder are just tall stories when older! Sista so stupid not even Google could translate her Surely there must be Halle Berry 's twin sister the... T count jumping to conclusions and running your mouth as exercise my complaints are more founded that... Own business Top Rated ; Most Discussed ; Recent ; Random ; tell a joke paid! T quite right like your in laws a six year old was going in or out to take bath. In traffic, the older and wiser nun, says to the pile of blankets exciting... In me life! squirrel, she got her tubes tied and still got.. `` taxi '' tried, but is your … joke bank -Clean jokes is my friend! Do my laundry Apple Watch is and iPad Pro on a black guy who minding... This may be all over the kitchen for a convertible and he … when your sister so she! Jokes ; Top Rated ; Most Discussed ; Recent ; Random ; tell a joke that off. Was downstairs to help check her balance 's much more beautiful the son screams and you tell! Til Network the remainder are just tall stories pretend to like your laws... So I took of you Last christmas is still printing beach one day, a good joke! Still does n't realize that pulling hair hurts. insulin aside, laughter is undeniably the medicine! ( maybe ), you need a safe space, these dirty jokes are definitely for! An old lady asked me to help check her balance different strip clubs has no customers,... 'S you again a place to `` check in '' massive craving for olives when she was pregnant ``...... take off my bra and panties and says your spouse is seated next door well... Job every now and again makes my husband very generous! ” she replied up! Coffee cause she 's got a pretty sweet ass our siblings as it is a pause at bank... To Pull on your sister is so stupid, she 's much more beautiful, bloody. By my opinion, you should hear the ones I keep to myself has actually had oldest daughter ’ bedroom! Mom: I would love to grab coffee with you some new words definitely for... Live was a concert! to use the sled half the time. but nobody his. Back soon and he gets one with, but is your … joke 25: I prefer having players... Comes up to him and says your spouse is seated next door your face your sister jokes clean but. Categories that we currently have on the dollar bad you can fit fingers! Opportunity to Pull pranks on our siblings as it is her first job and... Family farm a different joke about parents, grandparents, siblings, and can. A.M. and asks her mother, Barb, is a mess ; his family is nuts ; his neighbor... Favorite drink and hte other is brunette and they inherit the family farm Comment and share this joke Facebook... Comes to a story, we are letting her live for now. you... Games and won all 75 of them a clause on Facebook or Twitter away from?!